Some people think the "25 things" is stupid, but I had fun with this one, so enjoy...
1. What you see in this world is usually not how things are.
2. Radiohead is my favorite band that still makes music, but I won't dare say that they are "better" than your favorite band.
3. Listen to "Exile On Main St" by the Rolling Stones- goes best with whiskey.
4. "Back in Black" by AC/DC should come with bail money. So should whiskey.
5. Since when did it become okay to judge a movie by how much money it makes on its opening night?
6. There are some baseball fans that justify steroid-use because without them, we would have less homeruns (i.e. less "long balls"). If this is the case, why don't they just change the dimensions of the ballpark, just like they did for hockey after someone woke up and said "Uh, Guys? This hockey-shit is really f-ing boring. Why don't we make it easier for them to score?" Can't we do the same thing for baseball? Just make the field smaller, the bats bigger, and the distance between the bases shorter. "But noooooo, baseball is a "pure", "American", pastime- we can't do that! But please, shoot me in the butt with libido-UNenhancement, forehead-ENhancement drugs from illegal cartels in Tijuana for a few extra homeruns, now that's what I call American!
7. And since when does winning an American sports championship equate to being the "World" Champsion? You can call yourselves "World Champions" when you allow international teams to compete against you in American sports leagues. Especially you, NBA! Did you even advance to the medal rounds of the 2008 Summer Olympics?
8. You cannot compare Pittsburgh and Philadelphia. They are two completely different cities. One is better at football. The other is better at getting fat. While they do each take turns competing for each title, we all know that the Steelers are better than the Eagles, and the Cheesesteak (when made properly) is fatter than a Primanti's sandwich. Regardless, both teams are enjoyable to watch, and both sandwiches are enjoyable to eat.
9. Language changes as words develop into everyday conversation. Get used to it. All you people that claim "ain't" ain't a word? People use it, it has a universally-accepted spelling AND usage, so doesn't that make it, by definition, a word? It developed from saying "isn't" but sloppily and lazily. There was a time when all contractions (such as "isn't") were not considered real words, but it became an accepted way of speaking and writing due to popularity. So, deal with it.
10. "Fuck the Steelers". Why are people going around saying this? It can't be because they suck. Didn't they win the Super Bowl or something? Like SIX times, more than any other team? I'd really like to hear someone say, "Good job, Steelers, way to represent Pennsylvania, you earned it."
11. The new Comcast building is atrocious. Did it really have to be that big? But hey, I probably would've said the same thing about Liberty One and Liberty Two back when they were built, and I probably would've said the same thing about City Hall back when it towered over the city at a whopping two-stories above sea level.
12. Seriously, I have to do TWENTY-FIVE of these things?
13. I was amazed to learn today that in Italy (and many other countries), the role of commas and decimal points, when writing numbers, is reversed. Once again, America had to make things difficult. Go figure.
14. Speaking of, it's about time we converted to the metric system. Give me ONE good reason why not (I do agree that "it would take time to get used to it" is a perfectly good explanation of American ignorance and laziness, but this does not count as a good reason).
15. "Charlie Goes America All Over Everybody's Ass" is one of the best titles of any Television Show episode I have seen in a very long time.
16. Arrested Development is the most ingeniously-written television show I have seen in a very long time. "More ingeniously-written than Golden Girls?", you say? Yes, my friends, more ingeniously-written than Golden Girls.
17. The theme song to "Diff'rent Strokes" is the absolute BEST theme song. (well, it works for me, and if it doesn't work for you, as the song says, "What might be right for you, may not be right for some..."
18. I'd like to live in Italy for a while.
19. I like coffee, wine, and pizza (see #18).
20. A business is not a bunch of assholes for "overpricing" their products. Nobody's holding a gun up to anyone's head at Citizens Bank Park saying "you MUST buy this $7 Budweiser while watching the game". They're saying, "if you want a beer, it costs $7". Don't like it? Don't buy it. Or maybe look into buying one of these: http://www.thebeerbelly.co
21. Got lies? Believe it or not, milk is actually pretty bad for you.
22. Imagine if all cars were built like giant steel balls* and were powered by the natural magnetic field of the Earth, and never having to pay for gas, EVER. Or accidents- we would be invincible!
23. People, stop using Wikipedia as a primary source of information! It's like citing the guy walking down the street who you overheard saying, "Man, did you know that eating 3 pounds of bacon every morning is actually good for you?"
24. What happened between Chris Brown and Rihanna is between Chris Brown and Rihanna (see #1).
25. Believe it or not, SEPTA is pretty good at what they do. Try living in Pittsburgh for a while, then you'll know what I'm talking about.
26. I don't believe in "beating the system" (see #12).
*original basis for this idea borrowed from Ben Pelta-Heller, who threw this idea at me somewhere in between the third and fourth floor of Central High School, on the way to Biology class, sometime between the year 2000 and 2001.
2. Radiohead is my favorite band that still makes music, but I won't dare say that they are "better" than your favorite band.
3. Listen to "Exile On Main St" by the Rolling Stones- goes best with whiskey.
4. "Back in Black" by AC/DC should come with bail money. So should whiskey.
5. Since when did it become okay to judge a movie by how much money it makes on its opening night?
6. There are some baseball fans that justify steroid-use because without them, we would have less homeruns (i.e. less "long balls"). If this is the case, why don't they just change the dimensions of the ballpark, just like they did for hockey after someone woke up and said "Uh, Guys? This hockey-shit is really f-ing boring. Why don't we make it easier for them to score?" Can't we do the same thing for baseball? Just make the field smaller, the bats bigger, and the distance between the bases shorter. "But noooooo, baseball is a "pure", "American", pastime- we can't do that! But please, shoot me in the butt with libido-UNenhancement, forehead-ENhancement drugs from illegal cartels in Tijuana for a few extra homeruns, now that's what I call American!
7. And since when does winning an American sports championship equate to being the "World" Champsion? You can call yourselves "World Champions" when you allow international teams to compete against you in American sports leagues. Especially you, NBA! Did you even advance to the medal rounds of the 2008 Summer Olympics?
8. You cannot compare Pittsburgh and Philadelphia. They are two completely different cities. One is better at football. The other is better at getting fat. While they do each take turns competing for each title, we all know that the Steelers are better than the Eagles, and the Cheesesteak (when made properly) is fatter than a Primanti's sandwich. Regardless, both teams are enjoyable to watch, and both sandwiches are enjoyable to eat.
9. Language changes as words develop into everyday conversation. Get used to it. All you people that claim "ain't" ain't a word? People use it, it has a universally-accepted spelling AND usage, so doesn't that make it, by definition, a word? It developed from saying "isn't" but sloppily and lazily. There was a time when all contractions (such as "isn't") were not considered real words, but it became an accepted way of speaking and writing due to popularity. So, deal with it.
10. "Fuck the Steelers". Why are people going around saying this? It can't be because they suck. Didn't they win the Super Bowl or something? Like SIX times, more than any other team? I'd really like to hear someone say, "Good job, Steelers, way to represent Pennsylvania, you earned it."
11. The new Comcast building is atrocious. Did it really have to be that big? But hey, I probably would've said the same thing about Liberty One and Liberty Two back when they were built, and I probably would've said the same thing about City Hall back when it towered over the city at a whopping two-stories above sea level.
12. Seriously, I have to do TWENTY-FIVE of these things?
13. I was amazed to learn today that in Italy (and many other countries), the role of commas and decimal points, when writing numbers, is reversed. Once again, America had to make things difficult. Go figure.
14. Speaking of, it's about time we converted to the metric system. Give me ONE good reason why not (I do agree that "it would take time to get used to it" is a perfectly good explanation of American ignorance and laziness, but this does not count as a good reason).
15. "Charlie Goes America All Over Everybody's Ass" is one of the best titles of any Television Show episode I have seen in a very long time.
16. Arrested Development is the most ingeniously-written television show I have seen in a very long time. "More ingeniously-written than Golden Girls?", you say? Yes, my friends, more ingeniously-written than Golden Girls.
17. The theme song to "Diff'rent Strokes" is the absolute BEST theme song. (well, it works for me, and if it doesn't work for you, as the song says, "What might be right for you, may not be right for some..."
18. I'd like to live in Italy for a while.
19. I like coffee, wine, and pizza (see #18).
20. A business is not a bunch of assholes for "overpricing" their products. Nobody's holding a gun up to anyone's head at Citizens Bank Park saying "you MUST buy this $7 Budweiser while watching the game". They're saying, "if you want a beer, it costs $7". Don't like it? Don't buy it. Or maybe look into buying one of these: http://www.thebeerbelly.co
21. Got lies? Believe it or not, milk is actually pretty bad for you.
22. Imagine if all cars were built like giant steel balls* and were powered by the natural magnetic field of the Earth, and never having to pay for gas, EVER. Or accidents- we would be invincible!
23. People, stop using Wikipedia as a primary source of information! It's like citing the guy walking down the street who you overheard saying, "Man, did you know that eating 3 pounds of bacon every morning is actually good for you?"
24. What happened between Chris Brown and Rihanna is between Chris Brown and Rihanna (see #1).
25. Believe it or not, SEPTA is pretty good at what they do. Try living in Pittsburgh for a while, then you'll know what I'm talking about.
26. I don't believe in "beating the system" (see #12).
*original basis for this idea borrowed from Ben Pelta-Heller, who threw this idea at me somewhere in between the third and fourth floor of Central High School, on the way to Biology class, sometime between the year 2000 and 2001.
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